Things Minorities Should Not Do In Public

Minorities, I know.

I know you love your pets, I do.

But, seriously, do not spend countless hours training your dog how to dance the merengue, do not spend your government stipend on a ridiculous-looking and expensive outfit for your dog, and and do not invite your village to view what you so shamelessly have been practicing with your dog in the privacy of your own home for the past three months.

It's downright bestial.

You should be spending that time at home with your children.

Minorities, do not dance the merengue in public with your dog because everybody is just going to think that we love our animals more than we love our children. They think that about us and cars already.

We have so much to learn minorities.

And don't even get me started on this dumb ass dog! Why would you agree to do any of this? For a fucking treat! This fucking dog is just about the stupidest piece of shit I've ever seen. No fucking dignity. This dog really is a hot ass mess. It probably goes home every night talking to his dog family and friends in dog about how he is so famous and well-revered in the human world.

WRONG!

Humans do not respect you and you are sure as hell, not famous.

You are on fucking youtube, a virtual stage for fuck-ups the world over.

Minorities, not only should we not dance with our dogs in public, but we should also stay away from trying to become famous through our sycophantic pets, because the limited fame they do attain will get to their heads, and everybody knows what happens to an overly-proud dog: they hump legs.

Especially when you have guests over.

Minorities. Don't let your dogs hump legs in public. Please. If it is true that dog's reflect their owners sentiments, well then your guests are only right in thinking things about you.