grl, We need to improve our public education system!!! Stat. See above for why. But for real, if I saw her at the club, I would probably organize an angry gay mob to flashdance her off the dancefloor, and double-snap her out the club. OR, she would be my bestie, and I would do my hair to match hers, but with like a chewy chocolate chip cookies theme.
grl, Pakistan Flood Sets Back Years of Gains on Infrastructure (Could you imagine grl, the roads being all busted leaving you with no way to get to the club?)
By CARLOTTA GALL
The destruction of roads, schools and health clinics could further weaken a feeble civilian administration and add to the burdens on the military.
grl, Iowa Town Is Tense as U.S. Ties Farm to Salmonella (grl, How much does inbreeding have to do with the fact that it was probably somebody's sisterwife lost focus at a critical moment in the assembly line of the industrial-size abattoir? Who's pointing the finger at them?)
By MONICA DAVEY
Some say disease is another reason to detest industrial-size farms, while others see them as an economic savior.
grl, Paterson Misled Inquiry Over Tickets, Report Says (grl, It was a pair of tickets, for real, chill.)
By NICHOLAS CONFESSORE
Gov. David A. Paterson misled investigators about how he got World Series tickets, an independent counsel said.
grl, Struggling Cities Shut Firehouses in Budget Crisis (grl, We need to do everything in our power to keep the hot ones employed at all costs. Who else is gonna populate those calendars?)
By MICHAEL COOPER
Fire departments around the nation are cutting jobs, closing firehouses and resorting to “rolling brownouts.”
grl, Behind Scenes of Gulf Oil Spill, Acrimony and Stress (grl, We know how stressful it was, trust, we were there, it was our planet you fucked up, all for greed, you dumb bitch. Chase a real story.)
By CLIFFORD KRAUSS, HENRY FOUNTAIN and JOHN M. BRODER
New information suggests that the process of killing the failed well was far more stressful and acrimonious than the public knew.
grl, Facing Long Mine Rescue, Chile Spares No Expense (grl, Its gonna take them months to extricate those miners...grl, that's a long time. If I were there, I would leave no hymen unturned. Haaay.)
By ALEXEI BARRIONUEVO
President Sebastián Piñera has staked his nascent presidency on rescuing the miners, sparing no attempted innovation to maintain their psychological health.
grl, Islamic Center Also Challenges a Young Builder (grl, Why are we even having this debate. They wanna open a community center dedicated to peace-making and bridge-making. What's the fucking problem? Ugh, this country exhausts me. I need a martini.)
By ANNE BARNARD and CHRISTINE HAUGHNEY
The developer of a divisive project is new to New York real estate work, which can demand experience and patience.
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