Reasons to Abort #3

Paris Hilton Told Police She Thought Cocaine Was "Gum"

Parents, gather around.

Bear witness to the hot ass mess before you.

Her name is Paris Hilton, she is an heiress to the international Hilton hotel mega-franchise.

She was a 'model,' attended great schools, all of her friends are famous and/or rich and/or accomplished. She's traveled the world, had television shows and has met dignitaries the world over. She's had meals that would cover the rent on your bungalow for months. By all accounts, this woman has had all the advantages one would dream of having in life.

Still, this bitch can not tell the difference between cocaine and gum.

FAIL.

LIFE FAIL.

Abortion would have prevented this major mishap in history. People like this are testament to why we need to exercise control over who is allowed to roam this earth.

Ok, perhaps Paris was at a wonderful daughter and it was not until she grew up that one could patently see that she is a fuck up on the scale of Chernobyl. This is why one should be able to abort their fetus up until that fetus becomes 18 years old.

Paris, this is a harsh measure, but you inspired me to draw up this legislation, we simply can not have another Chernobyl, another Hiroshima or Nagasaki. The human race is still trying to shake off those genetic mutations, mutations which you are all too apt to propagate.

On a plus side, I am sure you have had occasion to take advantage of plan B, and for this we are all thankful.

But, since the media loves you, we are all your spawn in a sense, and that which we inherit from you will retard civilization's progress. You are like creationism, or like those conservative whackjobs who argue against stem cell research...

Note Dodo: Did you know that stem cell research is the most promising source for a cure to your daft-headedness?

Oh, Paris. We should have stopped you a long time ago. But, alas, you are past your 18th birthday. So, please, whenever you crash and burn, call the media, stand at the pillory and present yourself as example number 3 as to why we should abort more readily as a society. You are a very convincing tragedy.