Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Things Minorities Should Not Do In Public: Run


Fellow Minorities,

Please. Don't. Run. In. Public.

Just don't.

I can't emphasize this enough.

If you do run in public, you know that everybody is just going to think that you did something wrong. The popo are sure to come around asking questions and keep you from getting to wherever it is that you were running to in the first place, anyway. So, if you don't want to be late, for real, just don't run in public. Besides, the last thing we need is another one of us going to jail for no good reason. Everybody knows police got quotas, ok. Don't give them cause.

And this includes skipping.

Actually, skipping might be worse. Do minorities skip?! No! How suspicious does that look? You just look like you are trying to get away and cover up from doing something wrong. How many happy-go-lucky minorities do you know...? That's right. Point made. Guilty.

You basically just shouldn't make any sudden movements while in public. Please.

Gaily News: The daily news translated for gay people.

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H.A.M. of the Day



Pelican, you are one hot ass mess. Everybody knows that the gulf coast is covered in oil. Why in the hell would you go on vacation there? Dumb. Dumb ass pelican.

Dispatches from Lindsay Lohan's SCRAM bracelet.

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