Daaasssit! 4

Daaasssit! 3

Daaasssit! 2

Daaasssit! 1

All About It

Intactivism is the belief in the right of baby boys to keep their foreskins intact, and there's a movement to legally ban circumcision. After introducing legislation last year, a San Francisco-based group of intactivists opposing male circumcision has collected enough signatures for a ballot initiative next November on whether to bar the practice in the city.

*ssholes

More details have been revealed about the motivations behind the Latin King Goonies anti-gay attack last fall. Nine members of the gang were arrested last year for allegedly torturing three gay men (and injuring another man) because of their sexual orientation. It seems that before the attack, the gang members tried to extort protection money from one of their victims—and when he wasn't able to pay up, they sodomized him with a miniature baseball bat.

Brave New World

Three tiny orbiters roughly the size of saltines will be released by the shuttle, Space.com reports.

Douchebags

More than half of those thousands of precious parking permits in the city are either legal permits used illegally or simply illegitimate permits in the first place. And nearly one in four official parking permits are "illicitly photocopied, fraudulent or otherwise invalid.

Everyday Heroes!

Bronx Man Wards Off Knife-Wielding Robbers With Single Apple

A Hooker's Guide to NYC

The brains behind the New York City biking blog Astoria Bike put together the most servicey thing we've seen in a long time -- a subway map exclusively for the late night schedule.

Crackheads

1 out of every 4 adults diagnosed with ADHD was probably faking it.

Hoodrats

8-Year-Old Sells Loaded Gun for $3 at Queens School

Touch Me Baby, Drive Me Crazy

Kittens are for Eating

I Don't Give a F*ck

“Miss Middleton wished for her dress to combine tradition and modernity with the artistic vision that characterizes Alexander McQueen’s work.”

Douchebag

"Harry Truman probably is the greatest president to my mind of the post-World War II era — and that includes them all, even my great hero, Ronald Reagan."

The New Ish.

Douchebag

Pearce and his friends, police say, were harassing the mother duck and her ducklings, who had posted up under a bush outside the fast food restaurant. After employees yelled at them (the humans) to leave the ducks alone, Peace and company went through the drive-thru and parked in an adjacent lot. They then returned, and ran over the flock, resulting in the death of four ducklings.

SQUIRT!

The new Harry Potter trailer is out!

Everyday Heroes!

Harlan Porter, a 31-year-old teacher at B.C. Haynie Elementary School in Georgia, was discovered by another teacher walking through the school completely naked at 3:20 p.m. on Friday. Porter had recently learned that his contract wouldn't be renewed. The arresting officer wrote in the incident report that Porter spoke of a "new level of enlightenment" and said "he wanted everybody to be free now that his third eye was open." "I then explained the obvious problem with his third eye being opened in public," the officer wrote. "He readily agreed that his decision to remove his clothing posed a problem and stated that he understood why I would likely have to place him under arrest."

Douchebag

In her upcoming appearance on Ellen, Lady Gaga addresses that clip from her HBO special in which she tearfully admits in a makeup chair that she "sometimes [feels] like a loser kid in high school." "In that moment I was very excited and nervous. That was a huge, benchmark moment in my life. I'm 25 years old. I was asked to play Madison Square Garden, sold out five nights. Quite frankly it's very overwhelming. Do I feel like a loser sometimes? Yes. We all feel like losers sometimes."

Douchebag

Alex Pettyfer's crotch tattoo says thank you, "in case I forget to say it."

Put It In Me

STFU Donald Trump!

Over the past week, when not busy claiming that President Obama was born abroad/being proven wrong about Obama being born abroad, Donald Trump has made headlines by mocking the success of Jerry Seinfeld's Marriage Ref and questioning the mental capabilities of Robert De Niro.

Warning: Stop F*cking Armadillos

When was the last time you've thought of an armadillo? A long time ago, most likely. You may have even forgotten that they exist. But they're definitely still out there. And they're giving everyone leprosy.

NRA Lovetaps

Two hundred and forty-seven people on the federal government's terrorism watch list purchased guns in 2010, and it was perfectly legal. After all, just because you're on the list doesn't mean you've been convicted of anything.

NRA Lovetaps

Wal-Mart Stores Inc. is quietly bringing back rifles, shotguns and ammunition to hundreds of U.S. stores as the hurting retail giant seeks to reinvigorate its one-stop shopping appeal and attract more male customers.

Hoodrats

Brutal Attack On Food Deliveryman Caught On Tape In Morningside Heights

The GREATEST City in the World!

Someone Is Living In A 78-Square-Foot Hallway In Manhattan!

Ugh!

MTV has created a bizarro version of Jersey Shore that will air across the pond.

I Don't Give a F*ck

Royal Wedding Procession Route in 3D

End of Times

Dozens of tornadoes kill 201 in 6 Southern states

Everyday Heroes!

Wendy Gabriel has been acting like he can't speak or hear since he was arrested in May 2008, successfully delaying his trial for three years by getting granted 64 adjournments.

Everyday Heroes!

Man in Cow Costume Steals 26 Gallons of Milk from Walmart, Because He Can

H.A.M. of the Day for April 1, 2011

Snooki Paid More Than Toni Morrison to Appear at Rutgers

Rutgers, you are so fucking messy, you actually dragged me out of hibernation. I been needing my time y'all. And I dont' apologize. Fuck you. But this shit, Rutgers, is inexcusable.

Let me get this right, you are paying Snooki, at all, to speak at your school, an institution of higher learning? What is she gonna talk about? For real? Answer this. Further, you are paying her more than you would Toni Morrison, the greatest writer to emerge from the 20th century? WTF is wrong with you?!!!

Students of Rutgers, and New Jersey residents should be up in arms as to the public statement its state is making regarding what values and priorities our institutions should keep.

Ugh, and we wonder how Bush ever came to be, and the Kardashians. No talent can take you far.

There is little Snooki would have to offer a budding minds being prepped to man our civilization in key positions!!! There is a great deal Toni would have to offer.

This is simple reasoning, right? Or have the disco lights addled your minds as much as a gorrilla-juice-head-hunting-guidette's?

Rutgers, you are a hot ass fucking mess.