Things Minorities Should Not Do In Public

Minorities, please do not take people hostage.

Minority readers, there is a pain in my heart today. And I know you have it too.

And I know when it started. It began when you found out that the person holding the employee's of the Discovery channel hostage in Silver Springs was a minority.

I have been tracking this story since it began earlier today, and waited with bated breath to learn the identity of the whack-job who is upset with Discovery for not producing his idea of earth-friendly game shows that teach people to respect nature and to fight for preservation. Among other things.

Like his belief that the Discovery channel is leading people to wasteful earth-trampling behavior...

I mean, really? W to TF! What else can the Discovery channel be accused of other than educating the ignorant masses? I mean, guy, do you just hate to learn?

And you are Asian. You are supposed to be the fucking model-minority! You are supposed to love learning!

Not only are you doing a bad thing for the reputation of minorities but you are also bringing Asians down, and that's a hard thing, I mean, fucking institutions of higher education have quotas to keep you bitches out because you are so damn high-achieving!

Take the racist-honor and run with it. As an Asian, your best plan of action would be to get a PhD/MBA, get control of the fucking company and run it your way. Then you can have all the fucking crazy ass Asian-themed games shows your little heart desires.

I mean, what is it with you Asians and your fucking fucked-up game shows anyway. That shit does not work over here and we are glad for it:



Bang away. Because we are not.

How this shit is supposed to inspire me to save the planet is beyond me.

Minorities, please do not hold anybody hostage. But if you do, please let it be worth the damage you have done to our reputation as a whole. Like, getting Ricky Martin to admit that even he knew that no one in the world was surprised or fooled by this coming out. Now, if you can get that bitch to admit that...only then would I say that it is OK to take someone hostage, then I'd say sorry, and then I'd shut up.

Minorities, if you take a people hostage, you know that THEY are just gonna keep screening us at airport lines and pretty soon, even at Wal-Mart, and nobody wants to be held up from devouring their economy sized chicharones while sitting in their new Jesus-emblazoned plastic lawn chair and watching the finale of Perro Amor in the privacy of their own home.

Stop it now.