One White Person I Would Not Let Babysit My Children

Admittedly, this woman is amazing, and she would probably be someone that I would love to know, especially on a Monday morning, at the office, when retelling stories from the weekend over the water cooler. Oh, the places she would take my imagination. She is engaging, she uses sound effects, and she even says things like, "Cuz my daddy taught me good," which is a lie, at best, cuz she probably spawned out of a festering pustule on a frog's back.

Drag queens take note. Glamour-dram is not the only arresting form of performance for a lady-boy in a dress.

However so much I love her, she would scare the shit out of my children. Put a flashlight on the woman's chin and what you've got is a crypt-keeper.

This woman is not allowed to babysit my children because she would probably make them build a gingerbread house in which she would imprison them for the sole purpose of frightening them at will with her terrifying stories, and to have a place to store her flying brooms.

My children are not little Mexicans. If you have them build you a house, you will pay them fair wages!

Lady, you are done. The neighborhood watch has been alerted.

See you Monday.