Fan Mail

So, I've decided to start posting some fan mail... :)

Take the missive titled, "huge fans. request.," from an adoring bitch ass below:

"I think your blog is hilarious and I always enjoy “reading” the meaning of the words. However, I never enjoy the process of actually reading your blog, because the background color to font ratio in the post frames are a complete serving of failsauce. To decipher the words I need to highlight the entire post - this is annoying. Further, I do not want to send your blog to my friends, lest their eyesight worsens from the strain and I get sued.


Take the GAILY NEWS, for instance: the links! So fantastic I can actually read them, the (what I assume is riveting) commentary on them however? Totally camouflaged like the rest of the page. Bitch Ass Minion and Bitch Ass Minion #2 agree with me. This is our request: all we are asking is a font color that is a few shades lighter or a background that is a few shades darker."

Apparently, my blog has made you feel bad about your illiteracy. ...And, this is my problem because...

Your dumb ass needs to call your local public education system and scream on them for teaching you nothing past how to clip coupons and how to give a handjob good enough to convince your local crack-slinger to accept your macaroni and cheese coupon for a discount on your crack. Guess what? You lose, in any situation. Because crack is whack.

Alright, Hellen Keller, you blind ass bitch, I will change the font color. Doesn't mean I will like it... Doesn't mean I will do it anytime soon...

Deal. With. It.

And fuck you to your minions too. I omitted their names, but trust, I will find your addresses.

Thanks for reading. Thankfully people have nothing to do with their lives other than read this fucking blog.

Lord help us all. Go read some real news.

This songs for you: