Gaily News for September 10, 2010 - The daily news translated for gay people.

Extra! Extra! Gaytard learns how to use a camera. Scientists surprised by its ability to speak. Linguists dismayed by its bastardization of the English language. Are gaytard rights the next wave? Gaytards, coming to a cubicle near you!

grl, U.S. Urges Iraqis to Try New Plan to Share Power (grl,I love power play.)
By MICHAEL R. GORDON and ANTHONY SHADID
The Obama administration is pushing a power-sharing arrangement in Iraq that could retain Nuri Kamal al-Maliki as prime minister but curb his authority.

grl, Secret Tape Has Police Pressing Ticket Quotas (grl, You know I love me some secrets. Come sit by me if you got something to say, and if you talking shit, sit even closer. Haaaay! hhaha)
By AL BAKER and RAY RIVERA
On the tape, a Brooklyn precinct’s commanders are heard demanding officers write a certain number of summonses.


grl, Budget Woes Hit Defense Lawyers for the Indigent (grl, Indigent? What is that? Is this the SATs or something? Fuck. Wait, doesn't that mean 'hoodrat' or something? Anyway, what they complaining about now?)
By MONICA DAVEY
Public defenders in Missouri say the budget is interfering with their ability to provide poor defendants with their right to a lawyer.


grl, Judge Rules That Military Policy Violates Rights of Gays (grl, I'm about to violate a gay in honor this good news! Haaaaaay!)
By JOHN SCHWARTZ
While the policy, known as “don’t ask, don’t tell,” will not change right away, the ruling reflects others taking aim at discrimination against homosexuals.

grl, Visiting Ground Zero, Asking Allah for Comfort (grl, I'd rather a real man comfort me, not some spirit called Allah, I need to feel a man, not feel a man, you know what I'm sayin'?)
By SAM DOLNICK
Hadidjatou Karamoko Traoré is a 9/11 widow who has had to balance an overnight job, three children and her Muslim faith.

grl, A Rock Impresario Gambles on ‘Spider-Man’ (grl, I don't like my Spider-Man to prance and sing, I want him shooting spider spooge, climbing buildings and kissing me to shambles as he hangs upside down from the fire escape of a tenament. Mmmmmmm. So, thumbs down to this show. Basically.)
By PATRICK HEALY
Michael Cohl, the lead producer of the musical, is taking a risk on the most expensive show in Broadway history.

grl, Coverage of Koran Case Stirs Questions on Media Role (grl, Burning books is not cute. How else is a bitch supposed to educate herself. I suck my teeth at these ignorant philistines.)
By BRIAN STELTER
Terry Jones put himself at the center of a controversy by using the news lull of summer and a 24-hour news cycle to promote his anti-Islam cause.


grl, Pentagon Plan: Buying Books to Keep Secrets (grl, Don't they know that you can find all this stuff on blogs? Gawd, old people just don't get it. It's called technology, Luddites.)
By SCOTT SHANE
Officials are attempting to buy and destroy copies of an Afghan war memoir they say holds intelligence secrets.