H.A.M. of the Day

Luda. Seriously, let's sit down and talk. What is going on? Did you impregnante too many hos in too many different area codes? Did you have one more drink above and beyond your 9 orders of chicken and beer while you was at the number one spot in the red light district? Did you put your dick where you should have put your money and now you got another child of the night to take care of? Are you too full of southern hospitality to tell your hos to get up off you with them paternity test requests? You need to stop pussy-poppin?! I mean, how low can you go? Slap! Your dumb ass has been actin' a fool 2fast and 2 furious 4 2long. You need to think about your street cred, which is now basically extinct. You need to move, get out the way...of your own career!

The next time you think about having unprotected sex with a ho, just think about that ho comin' up to you in nine months demanding that you pay child support, and think about the strange bedfellows you will have to make in order to get that paycheck. Because, in my head, surely this is the only reason one would cut a record with a 30 year old lesbian who poses as a teenage heart-throb pop star.

Damn, man, Luda! How could you do this! You are one hot ass mess.