Cock Block

4G, you fucking cock block.

How many times have I been in mid-conversation with a trick and I am just about to get their phone number and/or address and I've already started heading to their neighborhodd because they gave me general directions, and I press the little button to get the email to download when...I lose my 4G connection. No booty for me. You may as well just pop up out of a bush, impale my balls with a spear and bid me a good day.

By the time I get a 4G connection back up, the trick has lost interest.

So, 4G, fuck you, you fucking cock block. I hope you get 7 years of blueballs because of all the frustration you inspire.

Further, you don't even really exist, do you? You sold yourself to us without having built the infrastructure necessary to make yourself real. You are like a lothario with three wives. You are never enough, no matter where you are. Get your shit together, or else I will drop you for 3G, forever. Yeah, he's a bit slow, but damn it, he is reliable.